Friday Five: Marriage Advice

Jon and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary a little while ago, so I thought I'd take a stab.  My disclaimer: I claim no expertise!  I'm just a 20-something gal that's learning as I go!

1.  Laugh. A lot.  Even if you sometimes really don't feel like it.  Or you really just want to sulk. Or be mad.

Jon and I are best friends probably above all else.  We started off as roommates and grew to be extremely close before we took things any further.  One of my favorite things about us is our ability to laugh together.  It can be a funny line in the movie (at which point we always look at one another to make sure we're both laughing), or when Travis takes a nose dive off the couch.  But I think laughter is most important when you could choose not to laugh. Like when Jon just did something that annoyed me and I'm sitting there, sulking, usually pouting with my arms crossed.  That's when Jon enjoys doing something silly or cracking an absolutely terrible joke.  And I can't help but laugh no matter how hard I bite down on my lip to pretend that I'm not interested.

2. Do stuff together.

Find something that you like and do stuff together.  Jon and I love traveling, even if it's to a local place that we've never been before.  We love exploring new areas by driving around aimlessly, stopping at shady places, walking in and out of stores on a Sunday afternoon.  Sometimes it leads to some deep conversations, other times we just spend 2-3 hours in a card store pointing out the best cards to each other.  It always gives us something to bond over - something to remember when I see yet another pair of shoes in the middle of the room (I don't tend to notice them until I've tripped over them).

3. Do stuff apart.

I find this one almost as important as the one above.  It took us a couple of years to learn this important lesson - but we're finally getting our own lives!  When Jon and I first started dating, we did everything together.  We couldn't help it- we lived together, we worked together, we played together, and it was all so new and fun.  This was one of the hardest habits to break.  Jon started golfing more (while I pouted when he left me for the whole day); I started running or taking walks with the dogs at the beach (while Jon sat on the couch and watched golf).  My friends and I decided to have girls night once a week, giving us at least one night a week we had to be apart.  It wasn't fun at first and felt almost forced, but now we both enjoy our own space every once in a while.  It gives us something to get excited to chat about when we're back and provides a break and some time to miss one another.

4. Don't point the finger.

Ok- so I'm not really always that good at taking the advice I give.  But I try.  I really do.  It's super hard to do, but I promise it's worth it.  So next time you see your hunny forget to pick up his pile of dirty clothes yet again, bite that sore lower lip and choose: either pick it up or leave it.  But pointing out that he's done it yet again doesn't solve anything.  I know it totally seems like you'll feel super duper better once you gloat over the fact that he did something wrong again, but you don't.  And he doesn't either.

5. Fight.

You read that right.  Fight.  But fight about things that matter.  And don't fight dirty.  I think a healthy relationship has its share of good fights.  You know the ones where you end up pouring your heart out to each other; the ones where tears are often involved; the ones where you start off sitting down, then end up jumping up or even raising your voice, but always end up back down, talking it out.  The kind of fights where you walk away feeling like you just had the most incredible bonding experience of your life.  But choose what you fight about (i.e. those shoes in the middle of the floor are not reason to start a fight.  I know they might seem like it at the moment, but it solves nothing.  Especially if you've living with Jon.  I think he's allergic to putting things away where they belong).  And fight fair.  Don't bring up things from past arguments that were resolved or attack one another just to hurt each other.  Get down to the issue and resolve it.  Find a compromise.  And if you need to, walk away for a while and get your thoughts together or clear your head.

Do you have marriage advice?

Things I could definitely do without

I love throwing a good party.  There's nothing like planning what to make, how to entertain, or scheduling a good date.  It's one of my favorite things.

But while I love planning and cooking, there are some things that I could definitely do without.

Take this for example:

I really don't like laundry.  Now, I don't mind splitting it up and sticking it in the washer with some detergent, but what happens after is not my cup of tea.  The folding, the putting away. Ugh. What a drag!

Or this:

It's not that I mind vacuuming so much overall, but I hate putting the vacuum away.  Is that weird?  I love hearing the vacuum suck up all that dirt of seeing a really dark carpet turning back to its original color rather than remain covered with the layer of dog hair that it enjoys having.  But once I'm done, I don't have the energy to put it away.  Yup - I'm a weirdo.

Then there's this:

Again, it's not the act of dusting that I dislike.  I don't mind it too much.  But I hate the dust itself!  I hate it.  It makes me paranoid that there are all these little dust mites around my house.  Ugh. 

Funny story, because, let's face it, what's a post without one of my ridiculous stories.  I asked Jon not too long ago what dust was.  It bothered me and I was hoping to be comforted.  He told me it's particles of stars.  I'm not kidding.  He wasn't either.  Oh Jon.  I had to google it just to prove him wrong.  Stars.  Particles of stars and the universe.  Oh I can't stop laughing.

But above all else I could definitely do without this:

Just thinking about it all I hear is the Jaws theme song. Ta-dam. ta-dam. ta-da-ta-da-ta-dam.  I hate cleaning toilets. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.  I think dust is gross, you won't even believe my feelings regarding this beast. 

Needless to say I just don't like dirt.  I don't mind cleaning it but thinking about it makes me all grossed out.

What chores can you live without?

A new member in our pack

Well, aside from Peanut obviously.

My friend Kari who got married not too long ago just got a new dog. 

Everybody say "hello" to Bungee.

Bungee, say "hello" to everybody.

Doesn't she have a great smile?

Bungee is just over 1 year old and is some sort of lab mix.  Obviously, the cute kind.

She's been joining us on walks and trips to Starbucks.

We love the extra company.

Be careful what you ask for

"Hey Kat"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Smile!"

"But I'm eating! Are you taking pictures of me eating?"

"Yes. Smile!"

"Fine."

"Hey, you asked for it!"

Peanut's room - the revamp begins

Although we are waiting a bit longer for the cooler days to come before we start painting the baby room, I did start on a few projects in the soon-to-be nursery.  We cleared it out of the random stuff that found its way into the room we never really used and I attacked the closet.

You see, the closet is the most important thing!  And this is what it looked like:

Yuck yuck yuck!

I mean, really, what can you do with that?

I bought all the parts for the new closet from Home Depot and now we have this:

And this:

Of course, what's the point of a closet if you don't buy a couple of things to put into it.