Friday, April 1, 2011

Friday Five - why I find marriage challenging

Last time I did a post about why I love being married.  This week I thought I'd do the other end of the spectrum - why I find marriage challenging.  Feel free to leave a comment with yours!


1.  Because there is more than one way to do things.  Did you know that?  In case you did not, allow me to blow your mind.  There is more than one way to do things!  Yeah.  I'm not pulling your leg.  When Jon and I got married we were still very polite around one another.  Then about a year into it things got real.  For example, Jon was loading the dishwasher and I said, "Hey honey, those don't go there."  And he said, "Why not?"  And I was at a loss for words.  "Well, because I don't put those there."  He looked at me, shook his head and kept going.  I'll skip over the fight the follows and jump right to the fact that the dishes came out clean.  Apparently there is more than one way to do things and your way is not always the right way.  Having a baby brought this to a whole new level, but I won't even get into that.


2.  Because sharing finances isn't easy.  Even for us, who have never really known adult life without sharing all the financial responsibilities.  What my husband might consider to be proper spending (i.e. 2 rounds of golf, followed by beers) might not be what I consider to be a good use of our hard-earned dollars.  In the meantime, I don't think that Jonathan considers a $5 latte or yet another silly gadget on amazon.com to be a great idea (not that he ever actually tells me that).  But with shared finances you sometimes have to bite your tongue and let the other person spend some dollars the way they want to.  PS- I find that having a "fun" fund for each person is a "must" to save your marriage. 


3.  Because you have to share the remote control.  I don't know what goes on in your household, but in ours the TV is a pretty important member of our family.  That means that there are lots of fights over what we will watch.  Especially when our "shared" shows aren't on.  Then we have to choose between Pawn Stars (his) and Teen Mom 2 (mine).  This isn't always easy.  Even with DVR.  Thankfully for us we also have Netflix.  I'm not proud to admit this but there are evenings when Jon will be sitting with headphones hooked up to his iPAD while watching Netflix next to me on the couch because I won the remote privileges.




4.  Because you have to compromise.  Unfortunately, no matter how alike you are, at one point or another you're going to have to compromise.  This means you are going to have to give up something.  Have I ever mentioned how stubborn I am?  Needless to say, I am not a fan.  Yet no amount of my feet stomping and pouting seems to convince Jon that we should move the couch for the umpteenth time when he just wants to relax.


5.  Because there is no end to the annoying habits.  You'll just have to learn how to live with them.  Marriage is a long-term commitment.  Apparently when you say "I do," you not only promise to love and cherish your spouse, you're also promising to ignore the fact that he just said the same joke you've heard 509846053968 times and the gum-chewing noises.  Even when it's really hard to let those things go.  Even when they really really annoying.  Ok, I may have to work on this one.


Alright peeps, you know the drill.
Got a Friday Five?  Link up!

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9 comments:

  1. You forgot one. Doing a load of laundry every night. When I was single I did laundry once a week, but now living with a husband it's a load every night or I fall behind. Of course he changes his clothes twice a day. And he refuses to use the same towel. Boys, but I'd be lost with out him. :)

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  2. Ugh. The dishwasher debate.

    A little along the lines of "one way to do things", is "everyone has different standards". I would suggest, though, that handing your wife a "To Do" list with "Dusting" on it when she did it the day before and saying, "I'm sure it's not good enough" is NOT the way to her heart.

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  3. This list totally speaks to me. I would love to hear more about how you have learned to compromise about the baby and how your different styles of parenting have come together. Future blog post? :)

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  4. Def agree about the remote! One of mine would also be to do with cleaning - he just doen't see the dirt like I do, but I've learnt to compromise and try not to let it bother me!

    BTW, I've tried to link up but I'm new to this blogging business!

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  5. Love this - I agree with ALL of them. Oh my the finances thing is sometimes SO HARD. That's probably our biggest area of contention. Not like knock-down-drag-out fights or anything, but we have to compromise a LOT. If he buys himself an iPod, it's perfectly reasonable for me to buy a pair of boots. If I am okay spending $50 three months in a row on new clothes, I cannot argue when he feels that he needs a PS3. Even if I do NOT get what the big deal is.

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  6. HOW DID YOU GET REMOTE PRIVILEGES???????? No,really-how?????????

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  7. I can SOOO relate to the joke part! But we love them anyway :)

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  8. HOW DID YOU GET REMOTE PRIVILEGES???????? No,really-how?????????

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  9. You forgot one. Doing a load of laundry every night. When I was single I did laundry once a week, but now living with a husband it's a load every night or I fall behind. Of course he changes his clothes twice a day. And he refuses to use the same towel. Boys, but I'd be lost with out him. :)

    ReplyDelete

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